She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
