I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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