I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
