Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
