I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
