At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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