Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Everyone says I win the strip club
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
