theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
