Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Randomize
