you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
