eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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