wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
