I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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