i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
