White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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