Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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