Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
