The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize