Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The feeling are messing with the penis
Randomize
