The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Say something about gay babies.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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