never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
As shirtless as possible
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
