1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
