Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize