Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
