Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
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WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
