i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
