so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
