I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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