I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
