well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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