it was like eating out sand paper
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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