Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i now understand why vodka
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
