THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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