My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
