Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.

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(443): There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now. http://tfl.nu/lz21

Replies (37) Good night (907) Bad night (2169)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha

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(479): he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha http://tfl.nu/2icp

Replies (19) Good night (1112) Bad night (2225)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.

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(931): my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling. http://tfl.nu/ym3n

Replies (66) Good night (27972) Bad night (1495)
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(815): View more from Illinois

my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves

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(815): my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves http://tfl.nu/kwdc

Replies (28) Good night (5239) Bad night (1065)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.

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(828): Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes. http://tfl.nu/k70t

Replies (9) Good night (1703) Bad night (1338)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?

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(217): Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people? http://tfl.nu/sask

Replies (4) Good night (736) Bad night (1838)
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(801): View more from Utah

Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.

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(801): Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro. http://tfl.nu/3s7e

Replies (9) Good night (3156) Bad night (768)
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(229): View more from Georgia

Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad

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(229): Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad http://tfl.nu/2cin

Replies (3) Good night (1147) Bad night (829)
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(703): View more from Virginia

He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box

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(703): He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box http://tfl.nu/9koo

Replies (8) Good night (1013) Bad night (578)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning

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(513): I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning http://tfl.nu/nen4

Replies (0) Good night (690) Bad night (371)
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(949): View more from California

We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.

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(949): We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex. http://tfl.nu/qzkw

Replies (14) Good night (2470) Bad night (412)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?

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(507): Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at? http://tfl.nu/qw84

Replies (7) Good night (628) Bad night (383)
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(714): View more from California

We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.

(714): View more from California

I'll wait.

(714): View more from California

It can also be a hat.

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(714): We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock. (714): I'll wait. (714): It can also be a hat. http://tfl.nu/jio5

Replies (4) Good night (706) Bad night (264)
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(585): View more from New York

Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.

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(585): Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful. http://tfl.nu/cgzo

Replies (4) Good night (578) Bad night (233)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great

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(773): Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great http://tfl.nu/433o

Replies (2) Good night (770) Bad night (222)

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