I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
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Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
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Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.