...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
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when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
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I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?