He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
