honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
COCAINE IS GR8
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
