Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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