Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
