I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm just crazy horny about you
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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