Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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