I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
