he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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