I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
