i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
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And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
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There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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