it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
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Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
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I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
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