i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
