whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
