I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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