yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
