i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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