Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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