He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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