apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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