She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
