The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
there was a trapeze. enough said
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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