Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
