everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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